God healer of my PDA!!!
Praise the Lord!!! (PTL!!!)
The Most AweSoME thing happened!
On Monday, I drowned my PDA.
Getting ready to leave the house, I threw my water bottle into my backpac and the next thing I know, I was fishing out my pda, my journal, my drenched stuff.. . Though the pda wasnt exactly soaked, but it was wet and I quickly dried it with a cloth and blew dry with the dryer.. I didnt dare to switch it on, reading somewhere that I should not try to turn on an electronic device which has just been soaked.
In the night I tried to work it.. It turned on fine, but worked a little strange, seemed a little retarded.. on Wed night, I tried to use it to get some data, and to my horror, the whole pda froze.. like the pc.. no matter what i pressed, unpress, jog dial, hit, knock.. it did not respond. just froze.. I found the reset button and reset the pda (like swtching off the power when the pf freezes).. i tried to save my data by doing a hotsync, but it froze again.. I tried it a couple of times and had to reset each time.. I knew my darling clie was gone..
Yesterday and today, i tried locating a pda repair service. I was warned that it would be very expensive and more worth it to just get a replacement.. and a new pda (the type i like..) will cost US$600!!! duh! where do i get this much money? anyway, I prayed.. without much faith.
In the past, my friends have shared with me testimonies, that when they prayed for their discmans and pc, God repaired it.. I have tried.. my discman and hi-fi spoilt when i was in uni, i was too poor to get a new one and I prayed.. I gather i may had mustered almost a mustard seed size faith for those two equipment.. i wanted to play my cds so bad!.. but nope, I ended up throwing those two discman away, however a friend who upgraded to using mp3, "lent" me his, and till this day..haha, i'm still using it as he does not need it anymore... ;p
sometimes, God provides in a way not as we expect.
anyway, my pda. This afternoon, after attending a j21 meeting, i was sitting at the padang, feeling tired, drained and a thousand and one things were on my mind. I was deciding if i should go to the repair shop, but i was sooo tired and mentally drained that i knew i must go to God in prayer first. There were too many baggages I was lugging around, which I knew I shouldnt. I sat at the padang and began to speak in tongues. I began to praise God and for the good thing He'd put into my life. I commit to Him all that was on my mind, my fears, my doubts, my confusion. I acknowledge my humanity and weakness. My need for Him and His Wisdom. Soon, I felt better and my spirits lifted. I thought, why dont i pray for my pda? yes, though i had prayed before and it did not recoverm though i have been "disappointed" times in the past, it doesnt change the fact that God is GOD. He who creates life out of soil, Creator of the universe, by His Word, all things had been made and are being held together. It is not impossible for Him to heal my pda! So I prayed.. I prayed in tongues for some times.. then i began to speak to my pda.. "in the name of Jesus, I speak LIFE into you!" "In the name of Jesus.... !" I repeat that many times, each time, speaking in faith and proclaiming in the mighty name of Jesus, calling LIFE on my pda... and after some time, I thought i should check on my pda.. still a teeny bit "faithless". But PTL! My pda worked perfectly fine! I came home, tested it many times, hotsync, etc, it's completely fine!
haha.. who says God does not work miracles?!! PTL!!!
so, the moral of the story? Never lose faith! keep believing, keep trying, never be afraid of falling and not be afraid of pain. God is GOD. even if you fall, you are in safe Hands when you fall in Him. Why does God sometimes heal and sometimes not? not just for discmans, pcs, pdas? but in human beings too? why does bad people get healed and good people die? Honestly, i dont know.. God knows a whole lot more than i do. He knows the inmost thoughts and motives of all of us. he knows what is the ultimate best for us.. sometimes, a little lesson from being burnt by a hot coal and save our lives from playing with killer flames.
who knows? God knows!
I may not know what the future holds, but i know the One who holds the future! That's more than enough for me! ;p
tears in athens
my heart was stirred as i watched the athletes compete with all their might.. in the searing heat, they were focused and single-minded. There was only one thing on their mind. The medal.
As the women entered into the stadium, final walks of completing more than 80mins of marathon, the stadium crowd went wild with cheers for the Greek lead. What follows, first, the esctasy on the faces of the medal winners... Then, ... the tears of those who came striding behind.. they were so close, and yet so far.. years of gruelling training and preparations for today, endless pushing of themselves through months of intense perseverence working their bodies. Their reward? Emptiness. Nothingness. They were so close, yet so far.. In reach, yet out of touch.
I did not know them, but tears began to flow as I looked into their eyes. I felt their spirit.
I prayed, "Lord, save me from this utter despair and dejection in this race i ran in this lifetime. Teach me perseverence in all that I face.. so that at the end of my life, when it's time to receive the crown of life, I will be victorious like the medalists, cheered on by a great cloud of withness! Knowing, I have ran the good race, fought the good fight. help me that I may not forfeit my crown and missed it all."
And I recalled the following verses:
1Cor 9:24-27
Do you not know that in a race all the runners run, but only one gets the prize? Run in such a way as to get the prize. Everyone who competes in the games goes into strict training. They do it to get a crown that will not last; but we do it to get a crown that will last forever. Therefore I do not run like a man running aimlessly; I do not fight like a man beating the air. No, I beat my body and make it my slave so that after I have preached to others, I myself will not be disqualified for the prize.
Heb 12:1-3
Therefore, let us throw off everything that hinders! And the sin that so easily entangles, and let us run with perseverance the race marked out for us. Let us fixed our eyes in Jesus, the author and perfecter of our faith, who for the joy set before him endured the cross, scorning its shame.. consider him who endured such opposition from sinful men, so that we will not grow weary and lose heart in all that we do.
Acts20:24
However, I consider my life worth nothing to me, if only I may finish the race and complete the task the Lord Jesus has given me--the task of testifying to the gospel of God's grace.
2Tim4:6-8
For I am already being poured out like a drink offering, and the time has come for my departure. I have fought the good fight, I have finished the race, I have kept the faith. Now there is in store for me the crown of righteousness, which the Lord, the righteous Judge, will award to me on that day--and not only to me, but also to all who have longed for his appearing.
overwhelmed...
too much.. felt as if there are ten million planets, asteroids, stars, flying, swinging, oscillating in ten million different directions in the galaxy of my brain... if brainwaves are like oceanwaves, then it feels as if a storm is brewing in my head.
but there are no complaints.. i would have things no other ways.. even though i feel stretched, challenged, and overwhealmed.. how else can i learn and grow except by being in the heat of things? now, more than ever, i need to spend time with God, fixed my eyes on Him and learn humbly. to be renewed, strengthened.
Psalm 138:8,
The Lord will fullfill His Purpose for me; your love, O Lord, endures forever, do not abandon the works of your hands.
soul searching...
when i finally take time out from the non-stop activities to just be in His Presence... I felt weak, I actually felt scared... I searched for strength and I found none.. I searched for leadership, i found none.. I searched for something in myself in which I can boast, I can lean on to comfort myself, to tell myself I can make it good for another day... I found none...
Truely, what can i do, truely, what is enough? The needs are endless, with each attempt from my flesh to fullfill, meet these needs are like shoving a scoop of soil into the bottomless pit. cold, empty, darkness. the soft thud of the soil landing many feets beneath is hardly audible...
and only when I turn my eyes on Jesus and put my hope in His Word. Commit all things to Him and Surrender without reserved.. then a ray of light, promising warmth, eternal, ever present help in times of trouble!
I'm returning to be on bended knees...
I'd just withnessed a wedding....
I'd just spend the evening with kyle and gab listening to the live broadcast of Luis and Nic's wedding at grace church in japan.. It had been such an emotional time, i felt as if i was present. I could picture them standing at the altar, dressed in their handsome suit and lovely white gown, exchanging their vows, saying "I do"...
We were screaming, cheering and clapping wildly together on the msn.. occasionally wiping away tears of joy as we hear nic's dad shared and hear our beloved friends addressing us over the broadcast. It was as if we were home again.. home at ome sunset, in the presence and love of our 22 brothers and sisters.
gosh, it's so unbelievable, so overwhealming! who can believe that only a little more than 4 months ago, we were spending our time together in tokyo as classmates (with no special relationships!) going through the ups and downs of dts life. and in the blink of an eye, they are man and wife!
Life is so emotional, totally like a rollar coaster! who can withstand the constant rush of emotions constantly flooding and crashing on the heart like waves on the rocks at the coast? At times, it's feeling of ecstasy, thrill and joy that words are unable to express, and other times, heart wrenching pain as a dagger stabbing fiercely, jabbing at an already broken heart.
Prov 14:10 "Each heart knows its own bitterness, and no one else can share its joy..."
Living on this earth and being a part of this volatility, where do i find an anchorage that my heart, my emotions would not be carried away? I give thanks my Lord God is my strong tower, everlasting pillar of strength and support. I give thanks for the stability and security I can find in His Never Changing Love and Character. In this life, my Lord is my Anchor, my Light, my Shield. And in Him, I find my security and my rest... in the shadow of His Almighty!
Praise His Name O my soul!!!
May the Lord bless these two amazing lives that had been dedicated to Him!
holding my tongue...
I have found the neccessity to learn to hold my tongue again.. too quick to rebut, to quick to defend, to quick to prove my innocence and to demand for justice and vindication..
But this is not the way of my Lord Jesus. He kept silent when he was spit in the face with horrendous slander and abuse beofore his prosecutors...
Part of the reason, i believe is because: what he knows, they do not know. WHO he knows, they do not know.
James 3:6,
And the tongue is a fire, the {very} world of iniquity; the tongue is set among our members as that which defiles the entire body, and sets on fire the course of {our} life, and is set on fire by hell. But no one can tame the tongue; {it is} a restless evil {and} full of deadly poison.With it we bless {our} Lord and Father, and with it we curse men, who have been made in the likeness of God; from the same mouth come {both} blessing and cursing. My brethren, these things ought not to be this way. Does a fountain send out from the same opening {both} fresh and bitter {water?}Can a fig tree, my brethren, produce olives, or a vine produce figs? Nor {can} salt water produce fresh.Who among you is wise and understanding? Let him show by his good behavior his deeds in the gentleness of wisdom.